October 18, 2019 came and went. It was the second birthday I spent without Mother. She died July 11, 2018, several months before her birthday. The tragic memories surrounding her passing I have yet felt the need to write about in full, but they impact my heart overwhelmingly. She was kept from me, stolen, actually. And it took great effort to retrieve her because of her illness.
Mother had vascular dementia in its final stages, I gather. I say I gather because I do not know. She lived with us for two weeks before she died on the sofa in our home as I slept upstairs. My youngest son sat in the living room with her not knowing that she was taking her last breaths. He said that she started snoring really loud, then she just stopped. he thought nothing of it until my wife went down stairs to check on her finding out that she was cold to the touch.
Once he medics arrived following my failed attempts at CPR, I sat in the Front room waiting to hear the verdict of her sentence to death from the medics. They did not give it. I, however, felt a familiar presence brush by me before they carried her out of the house and to the hospital where she was pronounced dead.
Moroni saw this too? The Lord gave him a view of the latter-days. Was this one of the views that He gave Moroni of me? I like to think he did. I doubt that Moroni saw every detail of my life or any other person's life, but he saw enough to vouchsafe the words of eternity in the Book of Mormon.
Moroni lost all of his family and his nation at the same time. He wandered the land for years until God inspired him to inter the Plates of Gold that became the Book of Mormon. What happened to him after is his story to tell one day. When he returned as a resurrected being, his only aim was to further the messages of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What could he tell me about the mother I mourned?
Moroni received a letter from his father about the debauchery occuring on the front lines of the war before his people where destroy. The last days of his nation were spent in horror. Mormon told Moroni that his people were without compassion anymore. "So exceedingly do they anger," he wrote, "that it seemeth me that they have no fear of death; and they have lost their love, one towards another; and they thirst after blood and revenge continually." [Moroni 9:5]
Since I have heard tale of how the Book of Mormon is a shadow of what will happen in the Americas, it appalled me to think of that happening! Moroni's father further wrote of the exploits of his compatriots towards their enemies before their destruction that "they did murder them in a most cruel manner, torturing their bodies even unto death; and after they have done this, they devour their flesh like unto wild beasts, because of the hardness of their hearts; and they do it for a token of bravery." [Moroni 9:10]
Then it hit me. That stuff does happen in the last days, and in the Americas, the whole world. Revenge! Those people were so full of wrath that to satiate their feelings that has to do the most vile things! Could that possibly have been me if I would have allowed my anger over the circumstances of my mother's last days fester in my soul? Could I have wanted to harm someone? Yes. I bet.
Moroni included that letter from Mormon, his father. Moroni could have sought revenge for the slaughter of his people, but his father instructed him, 'My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.' [Moroni 9:25]
The hard times of life can destroy us. Moroni wanted everyone to know that if we have faith and focus on the promises Christ gave in His teachings we can have peace. It does not mean that those horrible things aren't horrible, but that God's plan of happiness with recompense our suffering if we follow His laws in this life.
I can be sad that Mom died. I can be hurt that she died in the manner and environment she did. I can then know the hope of eternity will soon make up for the horrors of this life. What has Moroni seen of you?